Female Ted Cruz Lookalike Gets Porn Deal

May 11, 2016 –  “You are…not the Presidential candidate!” But you are a 21-year-old woman who went on The Maury Show to prove your 3-month-old son belongs to your boyfriend, but yes, you basically look like recent GOP Presidential candidate Ted Cruz.

Searcy Hayes appeared on the long-running, paternity-proving show a couple weeks ago with her boyfriend, Freddie Green. The couple wanted to get closure on the paternity of Hayes’ son and perhaps just enjoy the airfare and hotel accommodations. They got what they wanted as well as a gigantic slew of internet fame.

Since the comparison of the two went viral we’ve learned many things: Cruz is no longer a contender for leader of the free world, Hayes thought he was already the President and was running for re-election and once you go Maury you never go hungry. The porn site xHamster has offered the couple $10,000 to appear in a 6-minute sex tape. The could-have-been First Gentleman, Green, crunched the numbers and seems to think the couple will pretty much be taken care of with the offer.

“We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married. I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape,'” he told Huffington Post.

Plenty of celebrities have paid their dues in front of hardcore lenses but few have wound up there because they looked like the female version of a male politician. “We wanted Searcy because overnight she became a viral meme,” xHamster spokesman Mike Kulich said. “I think a lot of xHamster viewers really wanted to see her in action.”

Kulich followed up by telling Huffington Post that Hayes seemed like the next best thing since it was unlikely Cruz would film a sex tape while running for President. Although now that Mr. Cruz has suspended his campaign, some are not ruling out the idea of seeing the Texas senator and the Mississippi mother do some, umm, bipartisan work together.

Cruz has made no comment, but Green has expressed his excitement over capitalizing on her political likeness. “It’s kind of exciting and shocking to know she’s famous – she’s more famous than Madonna,” he said! “I’m with a star.”